


How in God's name . . . ?

by MarchingthroughtheTARDIS



Category: Phantom - Susan Kay, Phantom of the Opera
Genre: Literal Dick Measuring Contest, M/M, Math, Multi, Sorta Platonic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2814527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarchingthroughtheTARDIS/pseuds/MarchingthroughtheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a lighthearted comment goes a little bit, awry, The Phantom and his only friend learn that they are less different than expected. </p><p>This work was created with assistance from the ever amazing Deanna Riggs (http://mazenderan.tumblr.com/)</p>
            </blockquote>





	How in God's name . . . ?

      How in Allah’s name had he ended up in this mess? The Daroga and his phantom friend had gotten into and out of some odd situations before, but sitting in his apartment, trouser-less, with scraps of mathematics strewn throughout the room was not something he had anticipated. Ever.

     It had started out innocently enough. Well, perhaps ‘innocent’ wasn’t the right word. It had started out _normal_ enough. A typical male argument. He couldn’t even remember how it had started, but eventually he and Erik had started to discuss, well . . .

“It’s not always size that matters, Daroga. It’s how one uses the instrument.”

Nadir raised a critical brow, frowning at the Phantom. “And how do you use your instrument, Erik?” As he had predicted, Erik shifted back, crossing his legs protectively. “Oh, shut up you great booby.”

     “No no, I want to know.” Nadir’s voice took on a teasing tone, “You brought it up, after all.” Erik’s face quickly changed from some kind of embarrassed to glaring irritation. “You know the answer to that well enough, Daroga.” Said daroga couldn’t help a bit of a laugh at the man’s expense, even if it did bring on an even more vicious glare. “I don’t see why you’re laughing. It’s not as if you have any more opportunities than I.” Nadir was quick to hide his blush at that. “Well, then you needn’t try and compare.”

The glare turned into a wicked humor, and Erik tilted his head with a smile. “You were the one to perpetuate this. And if we cannot compare on experience, then that leaves one option.”

      And somehow, he had let himself be talked into it. Measuring tape in hand and pants left on the table, carefully reading out numbers.

"Aha! I’m half a centimeter longer than you!"

"That can’t be right, let me see that measuring tape…"

"You’re just jealous…!"

"We’re the same length, you moron."

"Nothing is exactly the same size as anything else. There’s no statistical way we’re… Oh. Oh. We are.”

"Told you."

The Phantom scoffed, eyes rolling. “I doubt it’s the same when it’s in use.”

Which of course prompted more ‘experiments.’ More than Nadir would have been comfortable with, in a usual friendship. But his relation with Erik had always been unusual, bordering on strange. Advanced geometric equations were probably one of the more normal things they had done together. Aside from the pantsless-ness, that is.

“Are you sure you got the same answer?”

“I just showed you! Do you doubt my work?”

“I was simply checking.”

“And we have the same answer. Again.”

“I am still calculating.”


End file.
